Remembrance
by TheLoneStar6
Summary: "May I ask...Do you really remember me?" Link had no idea how to answer that.


_"May I ask...Do you really remember me?"_

_Link had no idea how to answer that...He remembered saving her from some Yiga, or how she scolded him for doing his job. But was that enough? He didn't know her favorite food, what she liked to do to unwind and relax, or even their first meeting. Could he really say he remembered her in the way she was clearly hoping? Feeling his innards twist and turn, he silently lied as he gave the Princess a definitive nod._

He quickly regretted not speaking his true thoughts in the coming weeks. He so badly didn't want to disappoint her that he did something he imagined his old self would never do and lied right to the Princess' face.

It wasn't long after Calamity Ganon's defeat that Link went back to Hateno Village to stay at new home. While there was a lot to do in the ways of restoring Hyrule to its former glory, Zelda very heavily insisted that Link go back to Hateno Village to rest after such a taxing adventure. The monsters and Malice vanished with the eradication of Calamity Ganon and the Yiga Clan disbanded after the defeat of their god, so the Princess was safer with or without Link than she had been in a century.

Link imagined that the old him would insist he go with the Princess even if she ordered him not to. After all, in the few memories he reclaimed, he did just that. That was his old self, though. His new self couldn't even recall the emotions or the sense of duty attached to such decisions.

In fact, that was apparent to almost all his memories.

He felt empathy, of course, and felt guilt for allowing the deaths of the Champions and century-long entrapment of the Princess. For the most part, that's where it ended. He couldn't bring himself to view the Champions as close comrades or friends despite what he saw in his memories. In a way, when he viewed his own memories, it was like reading about a character in a novel. He could emphasize with their plights or understand their friendships, but there was no personal connection there. He never _felt_ what emotions he had going on during these memories. His own stoic demeanor didn't exactly help in matters either. It made it hard for him to think of those four and him having any connection, a train of thought that made him feel sick to his stomach. This even came with its own guilt, as if he was doing something wrong on purpose.

Zelda, however, was an exception. Something about her felt clearer than with the Champions. If Link had to guess, it had to be because of how the two were intertwined. She, the Goddess-blood Princess, and he who had the Spirit of the Hero. Their fates where tied so tightly that it must account for how he was able to still feel a more direct connection. Even then, a lot of it was a general sense of comfort in thinking of her, and the desire to see her safe and happy. No matter how hard he tried, it didn't go farther than that.

Once more, he felt like he was doing something _wrong_.

He supposed he should be grateful that he could even remember them at all. Everyone else in his life was a blank, the faces of his own parents a complete mystery to him. Whatever other friends or family that he may have once had also might as well have never existed given all he could recall of them. At the very least he could say he knew some details of the Big Bad Bazz Brigade, as little as that did to console him.

As Link sat behind his house, he watched the meal before him simmering and steaming in the cooking pot. He was out of sight of the village, which was just how he liked it. The young man wasn't even sure why he was cooking as he wasn't the least bit hungry. This wasn't unusual these past weeks. There were days where he didn't eat a single bite, because he knew if he tried, he would simply throw it back up. Despite this, he was going to try and get something in his stomach and just make it stay there.

He felt it odd that he could cook at all. Unlike personal memories, he found himself being able to recall how to do a number of things. Walking and talking sure, but also complicated things like how to cook or how to fight. Somehow these skills remained in his mind despite his otherwise complete amnesia. Yet other things he couldn't get a grasp on such as riding a horse or how to properly work a Sheikah Slate. He had to endure the embarrassment of being walked through such things like a child.

At least he felt some sort of gratitude that he had some muscle memories at all. Even once Calamity Ganon had been defeated and he moved to Hateno Village, nothing new cropped up.

It wasn't like he tried, of course. When his nightmares prevented him from sleeping, he would instead lie awake and try to force memories to come. Unfortunately, it all proved fruitless. Sometimes he swore he could make out the outline of a face, or the whisper of a name…but as soon as those memories came back to him, they were gone. It would've been easier to grab a handful of fog than it would've to keep those details pinned down.

The realization that his food was ready shook Link out of his thoughts. Sighing lightly, he stood up and started on preparing a dish for himself.

A few minutes later, what he attempted to stomach was left as a puddle on the grass.

It was the next day that the Princess came to visit him.

It wasn't the first time she did so. Every few days she would graciously take time out of her busy schedule to go and see how Link was faring. With Hyrule being as safe as it had ever been in over a century, it didn't take her very long to make the trip. She could travel without having to look over her shoulder or going to hide while Link faced off against a monster of Yiga Clan member after their blood. She would ask him how he was faring, as well as updating him on how the castle was being cleaned and repaired while discarding of the monster corpses Link had left behind himself. There was also idle chitchat mixed in, which Link wasn't very good at.

Link didn't exactly dislike these visits, but he felt stressed each time they occurred. Despite all the time that had passed, she wasn't aware of his lie. He still barely knew her, and no new memories of the Princess had cropped up since Link went to stay in Hateno Village.

Still, he didn't have the heart to turn her away.

"You still seem tired, Link. Are you sure you're getting rest?" Zelda asked. She and Link sat at his dining table, a cup of warm tea before them both. The young man hadn't touched his while the Princess had been taking small sips of hers. Putting her cup down delicately, she gazed at her knight with a small frown of concern. "You're not training with your sword or something, are you? You always did push yourself…"

Getting rest. It sounded so easy, but Link found himself unable to do something so simple. At all hours he felt so pent up like he was supposed to go out and fight but was just wasting his time in his house shutting himself away from the outside world. At seemingly random moments, he felt a deep paranoia, feeling the leering eyes of monsters on him despite being entirely alone.

"I'm fine. Just having troubles sleeping." Link replied, staring down at his tea. Another lie. Well, at least him having issues sleeping was true. "Maybe if I go out and help you with restoring Hyrule-"

"I cannot accept that." Zelda interrupted, her voice lightly stern. "I will allow you to join me when I think you have recovered properly, and I can see that is not the case."

Link couldn't argue he didn't exactly look recuperated. Grizzly shadows were present beneath his eyes, his skin was paler due to holing himself inside so often, and his clothes were rather disheveled. He tried to look put together, but there were just some things he couldn't help. Still, he wanted to argue against her, but when he opened his mouth, his words died in his throat. Maybe there was some part of his old, obedient self that couldn't refuse her. Maybe he realized she was right, and he wasn't ready.

Maybe he knew he should tell her he needed help.

Instantly dismissing such thoughts, Link tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. He was _fine_. He didn't need her help or anyone else's. The only thing wrong with him was his lack of memories, and there was no one that could simply restore them! "I understand. Perhaps sometime soon."

"Yes…Perhaps." Zelda agreed, her eyes boring into Link's. He could feel her studying him, as if she was trying to peer deep into his soul. "It bears repeating that you always did push yourself." A small smile formed and melted away her hardened features. "Remember when you insisted on practicing with the Master Sword, even though it was raining? You had such a persistent cold afterword but kept pretending it wasn't there." The Princess let out a light giggle, her eyes softening and almost seeming to glow.

For reasons unknown to him, Link couldn't lie here. "No. I don't remember that, I'm sorry."

That made Zelda's smile falter lightly, but she quickly recovered and waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, that's quite alright. Gaps in your memory are to be expected. I'm sure it will come back sooner or later."

Link wanted to believe her, but he was quickly losing hope…

It wasn't long after this that he felt himself going through another crisis. One of self-identity.

During some nights when sleep evaded him, he would stare at the ceiling and think about himself as a person. With almost his entire past gone, and only a small handful of memories to cling on to…just who was he? He almost started to not even feel like a real Hylian, just a shell with a sword that stopped Calamity Ganon a century too late.

He knew what his old self was like from the few memories he had gained and the diaries of two Princesses he had known in his past life, but that just wasn't enough for him. He wanted to know about his family, his childhood outside the Zora Domain, what his parents were like, if he had any siblings.

How he and Zelda first met.

Without these things and many more, Link felt incomplete. Or rather, like he wasn't himself. His true self. That made him wonder just who he truly was, then. A swordsman. A Champion. A Hero. Yet these didn't feel like they were enough, they didn't make him feel real. Like he was truly a person. He didn't want to become someone new, he wanted to be his old self with all the old memories and the emotions attached to them. If he couldn't recall his entire past, Link felt as though he'd be incomplete forever.

He had to try to remember.

As the weeks turned into months, the young man's hope started to wane. At times, he could remember very small details such as a name or an unfamiliar smell. Yet he couldn't connect these to a face or the origin of the scent. Small pieces that he couldn't form anything out of. If it took him this long to remember the most basic of things, how long until he could recall a full person? How much longer until he was able to remember a full conversation or a sequence of events? At this rate, it felt it could be years before such things happened.

These symptoms he was facing grew worse as well. His sleep was plagued with nightmares that sometimes resulted in him waking up screaming into his empty home. Fatigue weighed him down no matter how much he rested or how much he managed to eat that day. An itching paranoia hung over his head, and he felt the need to carry a sword and shield when leaving the house, even if it was just to cook in the backyard. While already distant from the citizens of Hateno Village, he now refused to speak to them if he could. Even Purah was unable to get an audience with the young man, much to the Sheikah's distress.

As Link's problems increased, so did Zelda's worry for him. She understood that he needed a great deal of rest, but after all this time he was worse rather than better. The Princess would visit him more frequently and was the only person that Link would talk to. Even then, he couldn't always do it to her face.

"Link, please let me in." Zelda's voice came from the other side of his door. "This isn't healthy, you can't stay inside for days on end! Please, open the door!" She was practically begging, pleading with her once mighty knight.

The shell of a warrior sat against the locked barricade, hands gripping the side of his head. He just wanted to be _alone_. He could get through these lows he was going through all on his own! Then he could start to remember his life and then he could feel _normal_ for once. Even after all this time, he refused to tell Zelda how little of his memories had returned, how he barely felt he knew her.

"I can't. Not today." He croaked, just loud enough for Zelda to hear him. "I need to be alone, okay? I'm sorry you came all this way, but please come back another time."

It was silent for a moment. "…You're hurting a lot, aren't you? I can see it when I look into your eyes." The Princess responded, her voice cracking. "I didn't say anything because I knew you'd refuse to acknowledge it. I thought maybe with some time to rest, you'd get better, but you've only gotten worse! I can't stand pretending any longer. Please let me help you, Link. _Let me in._"

"…What would you do if I opened that door?" Link couldn't admit it, but he so desperately wanted Zelda with him. She was someone he barely knew, but she was all he felt he had right now.

"Whatever you want me to. And I'd avoid doing anything you'd rather I not." The young woman replied, a hint of hope evident in her voice. "We can talk, or not say anything at all. We can go outside or stay in there until tomorrow. Whatever you wish."

That gave Link pause. It sounded like the ideal situation. He could be with Zelda without her trying to pry things out of him. Heck, he didn't even want to be touched right then. Slowly and silently, he got his feet and cracked the door open. The Princess looked back in, eyes widened in surprise and unease. She was clearly trying to hide it, but she was trying not to break out into tears. The young woman froze, as if scared that any sudden move would scare Link off.

Slowly, the door creaked open wide and Link stood before Zelda. He put a bit more effort into being presentable, his hair washed and combed, and he wore a fresh pair of clothes. After his last encounter with Purah, he had a feeling the Sheikah would contact Zelda. Link had to at least try and put on a good front to ease her worries. However, his paled skin and dark shadows beneath his eyes gave away how exhausted he was. He could tell it wasn't enough, because the Princess frowned in worry at the sight of him.

Still, it was too late to turn back now.

"Please, come in."

True to her word, Zelda did only as Link wanted. What he wanted at that moment was silence. It was awkward, but not too stressful. The two simply sat in their respective chairs for hours. It was more than clear that Zelda wanted to speak to Link, but he asked her not to start a conversation, and she obeyed his wishes. Just her presence actually made him feel more soothed, oddly enough…

"I won't be leaving the village." The Princess informed the young man as the sun started to set. It was the first words she had said in hours.

That surprised Link so much he couldn't even be upset that Zelda broke the silence. "…What?"

"I can't do that in good conscience, surely you realize that." Zelda's voice was gentle, yet stern at the same time. "I will stay at The Great Ton Pu Inn until…" She paused, seeming unsure of herself for just a moment. "Until we can sort some things out."

The young man let out a small sigh, feeling as though he were a burden on the poor girl. Didn't she have enough to worry about? "I can't talk you out of this, can I?"

"I won't be able to focus on my other duties without taking measures here first. But yes, you're right. You won't convince me to leave." She sounded quite sure of herself, making it clear Link shouldn't even bother arguing.

And Zelda kept true to her word.

The next few weeks, she stayed within the village's inn and visiting Link daily. Each day, he forced himself to let her in, no matter how much he wanted to be alone. These visits were never very eventful. At most, the two had took part in some minor chatter if Link was willing. Sometimes Zelda prepared a simple meal for the two of them, though Link wasn't always able to stomach it.

To Link's surprise, the two never acknowledged the problem. At least, neither of them said it out loud. He knew that Zelda was aware of it, and he could deny it, but knew the truth deep down. The adventure he had gone on heavily scarred Link. His mind had only diminished since moving into his new home, and he couldn't improve on his own. He was actually relieved that Zelda didn't try to force him to talk. Perhaps she was waiting until he was ready. A part of him wanted her to at least voice her plan or intentions.

Still, when Zelda was around, he found himself feeling more relaxed. The paranoia and general feeling of fear didn't go away, but they ebbed slightly with her presence. Once more Link thought about how the two of them were intertwined by fate and destiny. Surely that must be why her very presence soothed him so.

That made his guilt increase, unfortunately. She was trying so hard for him, but he still felt he barely knew her. He knew that, in the past, she had been filled with self-doubt and anxiety over her role in life. He knew that she was kind and caring, and only wanted what was best for her kingdom and those she loved.

Yet he didn't know so many other things about her. How did they first meet? What was her childhood like? What was her favorite book? Where did her love of learning and knowledge come from? Did she have friends outside of the Champions? He so badly wanted to ask her these things but couldn't bring himself to.

Zelda knew there were gaps in Link's memory but never knew just how massive those gaps were. If he kept asking continuous details, she would start to pick up on the fact just how far his amnesia had went. Then she would realize he lied to her…and he just couldn't stand the thought. No new memories, nothing concrete at least, had cropped up since Zelda started to stay in the village inn. No matter how hard Link tried, they just didn't come back in a clear manner!

"Link?" Zelda asked one day as the two sat across from each other. The dining table acted as a barrier, one that Link found himself somewhat grateful for. "Tell me, how much do you remember?"

The question made the young man's blood go cold. This was the first time the Princess had asked how much he remembered since he moved to the village. Before then, she had asked a single time and he told her all he could recall. It seemed to satisfy her, so he left it at that. The only other times she brought it up was to ask about specific, small memories. "What do you mean? Why do you ask?"

"I'm just a bit worried is all." She replied, glancing down at her hand as it rested on the table. "You never bring it up on your own. What do you remember?"

Link opened his mouth, then closed it. He swallowed a lump in his throat, and then tried again. "I remember us traveling through Hyrule." His reply was quiet and flat. "I can remember saving you from the Yiga Clan, and when you tried to make me eat a frog. Also, I remember talking to the Champions around the time when-"

"I know those things already." Zelda interrupted, looking up and into Link's dull blue eyes. "Tell me something new. Something concrete." She almost seemed…accusatory, yet her voice was soft.

He…He didn't know how to answer that. Did he lie? Make something up? What if he did, and he got a detail wrong that Zelda would know? If he avoided the question, surely her suspicions would increase, and she would keep asking him. There would then only be so long before she figured out the truth.

Link's mouth went dry, and he had to swallow several times before he could answer. "I…I don't remember anything else." Why lie? It would just drag things out longer than they needed to and would make himself a larger burden on Zelda.

For a moment, Zelda said nothing. She simply stared at Link, her eyes widened and her mouth agape in surprise. "…Nothing? At all?"

"I can remember a name sometimes, or the sound of someone's voice. That's it. Never a face or event to go with it." Link found it impossible to look at Zelda now, opting to stare at the table instead. He was starting to find it harder to take a full breath, panic rising in his gut with each word he spoke.

"Link, why didn't you tell me?" Zelda sounded more hurt than anything else. "I could have been helping you!"

"I lied to you!" Link exclaimed desperately, raising his voice for the first time in what felt like months. His hardened, glaring down at the furniture between the two. "I barely know you. I barely know anyone! I can't even…I can't even remember how I felt in the past, like when you broke down in the Spring of Power. Did I pity you? Did I feel anything? I just don't know!" He found himself unable to stop talking, like a dam that had broken and all the water gushing out. "I don't care about the Champions like I care about the friends I've made since I awoke! I barely feel anything towards them! You…You're the only exception!" He stopped then, panting lightly as a dizzying sensation overtook him.

Once more, Zelda was stunned for a moment. Her eyes contained unhidden pity as she looked towards the hero before her. "I'm so sorry, Link. I wish I had figured this out sooner. I also wish you had told me from the start." She sounded hurt, betrayed even, but there was no anger in her voice.

The Princess was surprisingly calm, though Link supposed she had quite a lot of practice keeping her feelings hidden away. "…I'm sorry." That was all he replied it. It was all he could even think to say. One moment a torrent of words came out of him, the next he could barely choke out two.

"I forgive you. I suppose I did put you on the spot, didn't I?" The Princess took a shaky breath. "I'm sure it's been hard for you, and-"

Link interrupted, feeling what was almost rage boiling within him. "I barely feel like a person, Zelda!" He said harshly, looking up and into the Princess' eyes. "Who am I?! I don't…" He stopped himself, grunting in agitation as he looked down to the table once again.

"Please, keep going." Zelda pleaded, not seeming too phased by his outburst. Perhaps she had been expecting this to happen sooner or later. "Let it out, tell me how you're feeling. Please, Link!" She reached out to grab his hand, flinching hers back when Link put his hands under the table. "…Link, I know how you were like before the Great Calamity. I know you liked to keep up a stoic façade, but it doesn't have to be like that anymore!"

"…" Link didn't respond. Really, he wasn't sure how to. In a way, it almost felt good to get these thoughts off of his chest…but at the same time humiliation filled him. He felt so pathetic and weak, or as if he were a child throwing a tantrum.

When Link didn't say anything, Zelda sighed. "Link…" Her voice was calmer and gentler than before. "I don't want to say this…but I don't think you can do this on your own. You only got worse with your trauma these past months and getting help isn't anything to be ashamed of." For the first time, the Princess actually called what was wrong with Link by a proper name. "If you don't accept my help, or someone else's, I'm not sure how much you can improve. Maybe you can, but do you want to take that risk?"

He hated to admit it…but Zelda was right. He floundered and grew worse with each passing day he spent alone in his home. He didn't know how to help himself but was terrified at reaching out for help. If he didn't just suck it up and do it…what would become of him?

"I…" He paused, trying to find the right words. "I don't know who I am anymore or _what_ I am. My own memories feel…feel like something that's happening to someone else. Like I said, I can't even remember how I felt during these moments. I want to know who I was, who my family and friends were, why I was so devoted to my role. I feel…fractured, and I want to be whole again." His voice droned on, devoid of emotion and heavy with exhaustion.

"You're Link." Zelda said simply. "That is who you were and who you are. You are one of the Champions and the hero of Hyrule. You aren't some new person just because of your amnesia! You're still you and nothing will change that!"

"…Do you really think that?" Link felt stunned at those words, his own mind not allowing him to consider he wasn't some new and broken monstrosity.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have said it otherwise, Link. You're still the same Hylian from a hundred years ago, no matter how many memories you have." Zelda replied, her voice shaking lightly, her feelings clearly getting to her. "Now I know how you feel. Now I know what we have to fix."

"Can we fix this? Fix me?" Link asked, staring into Zelda's worried blue eyes with his dull ones. His anger and humiliation was replaced with a sense of dread and fear. Despite all he had gone through during his quest…this somehow felt it would be much harder than anything else.

Standing up, Zelda let out a small sigh. "I can't say that for sure. I don't know if we can truly fix your memories or your mind. I know you don't want to hear that…but it's the truth." She put on a small, brave smile. "But we have to try, don't we? Together…I'm sure we can accomplish something, even if only a little bit. At the least, I can answer any questions you have about your past and make sure your future is quiet and peaceful." She walked around the table, extending a hand to him. "Let me try and help you. Please."

Link sat there stunned, moved by the Princess' words. Despite his broken self, despite his lies, she still wanted to aid him. She truly was magnificent and kind. For a moment, he felt something. Something that seemed familiar and distant, yet new and foreign. A pull. A tug. From his self to Zelda's. Something from deep within.

He was worried about what she said, about how she didn't even know if he could be fixed. The fact she was still willing to try gave him something he hadn't felt in so long.

It gave him hope.

Slowly, he reached out and grabbed Zelda's hand gently in his own as he stood up. He looked down at the Princess, almost confused, yet so grateful to her. To his shock, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself close, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She hadn't touched him like this since his quest ended. No one had.

Yet, he found himself at ease.

Feeling his neck grow wet, Link slowly wrapped his arms around Zelda and held her tight. He wasn't sure what would happen to him, if he would ever regain his lost memories. All he knew was he'd truly try as best as he could to get better…to feel whole again. He didn't ever want to make Zelda cry like this again, not if he could help it. Despite the uncertainty of his future, Link felt more at ease than he had in months. He was ready to try. He was ready to keep marching forward, hand in hand with the most important person in his life, knowing she would stay by him.

Whatever troubles came their way…they'd face together.


End file.
